Keep hot sex and passion in your marriage with this easy 10 minute love cultivation technique

Over the years I have developed a self cultivation routine I use to increase the love energy flowing in my two hearts. I believe women have two hearts. The emotional one centered in a woman's bosom (the love heart) and the passion heart centered in her genitals. The two hearts are connected and I believe a woman feels the greatest sense of completeness when both hearts have continuous flow of energy coming in.

I don’t mean to sound too ‘newage’ish. However, I have found my life is the most fulfilling when both my hearts are nurtured and in balance. I have developed a simple system I use almost daily to nurture my two hearts and keep them filled with love and passion. It only takes a few minutes but it has a huge impact on my quality of life and my relationships.

I pick a time and place when I know I won’t be disturbed for 10 minutes or so, usually in the morning. My hubby gets up early most mornings to exercise. Often we’ll have a ‘quickie’ before he leaves. It serves as a nice warm up for him and puts me in the perfect mood for my warming of the two hearts routine. Sometimes I just want to fall asleep after we share orgasms so I will do my heart warming routine later in the day.

My heart warming routine goes something like this: while lying in bed or sitting comfortably I close my eyes, put a big smile on my face (research shows smiling released feel good chemicals in our brains), place my hands over my bosom or love heart and fantasize.

First, I think of things that make me happy. I think of things that give me a warm fuzzy feeling in my love heart. I think of my kitty and the way she purrs when I pet her. I think of my kids and tender moments I’ve had with them. I think of the kindness my hubby shows, the things he does for me and how he makes me feel safe. I know this sounds silly. It’s like I’m singing the “My favorite things” song from the movie Sound of Music. But it works. Don’t knock until you’ve tried it. Sometimes I think about the things I am grateful for and give thanks to God. I you are not particularly religious you can think about how luck you are. The important thing is feel gratitude and joy.

Then I visualize lying in the sun and feeling its warm amber energy. I think of a yellow sunbeam entering my body and filling it with warm loving energy from my head to my toes. If I am having negative thoughts I visualize the energy getting brighter and pushing the negative thoughts out of me.

After doing this for a few minutes I switch to warming my passion heart. I remember to keep smiling, and then I place my hands over my passion heart (my vulva). I feel the warmth of my hands on my nether regions and then begin to fantasize erotic thoughts about my hubby and me. When I feel my juices starting to flow, I reach over to the nightstand and get my ezCOME out of the top drawer where I keep it and insert it into my now wet vagina.

Maximizing Your Satisfaction Will Drive Him Wild

I then go back to fantasizing about my hubby and me while I squeeze the ezCOME using my pelvic muscles. Sometimes I squeeze them lingeringly slow and pretend the ezCOME is my hubby’s penis and I fantasize about driving him crazy with pleasure using my well developed vaginal muscles (which I love doing to him). Sometimes I flutter them like a butterfly’s wings until I am so excited I know it will just take a minute or two of direct stimulation on my clitoris to push me over the edge into orgasm. Often I don’t need any direct stimulation of my clitoris and will climax just from flexing my pelvic muscles. (These spontaneous orgasms started happening after about 8 weeks of using the ezCOME, your results may vary.)

If you are like me you may have a favorite fantasy. Mine usually involves my hubby’s strong tanned hands; one hand is cupping and fondling my breasts and the other is resting upon my vulva. The hand at my breasts begins pleasuring me, expertly palming and tugging my nipples. The stiffening and rise of my nipples it is not my imagination. Down below I imagine my hubby’s middle finger slithering into my cleft to tenderly tease my clitoris with gentle circling motions. In reality it is my own fingers teasing my clit.

While I play this image in my mind, I work my pussy muscles using the ezCOME—squeeze, release, squeeze, release—until I am squirming with passion and the need to release it. Before long my passion overflows into orgasm. Afterward comes the wonderfully sweet afterglow and the feelings of having both my love heart and passion heart full and in balance.

Feelings of love and passion have to be cultivated and nurtured to keep them healthy. The ‘warming the hearts’ routine only takes a few minutes each day, but the benefits of filling your love heart and your passion heart is significant for increased joy in life and your relationships.

Experience the Full Pleasure of Being a Woman

What is the Most Desirable Length for the best sex? And why.

A study by The Society for Sex Therapy gives couples some useful insights they can use to improve their sex life.

The study surveyed 50 sex therapists and asked them from their experience working with couples what is the best length for sex, or more specifically, sexual intercourse.

According to the sex therapists, the best length for sex is between 7 and 13 minutes. The study described the lengths of sexual intercourse like this:

• 1 to 2 minutes of intercourse was “too short”
• 3 to 7 minutes was considered "adequate"
• 7 to 13 minutes was the most “desirable”
• 10 to 30 minutes of intercourse was “too long”
  

What are some lessons men and women can learn from this study and use to improve their own sex life?

For starters, this information should come as a big relief for men. It lets them know to be ‘most desirable’ in bed and satisfy their wife they don’t need to be the Energizer bunny.
This idea men have that they have to ‘keep going and going’ to please a woman is a male fantasy and not true in the real world.

Sure, it in nice to have long sessions of sex every once in awhile. But in the real world of work, family and life in general you set yourself up for major disappointment if you think this will happen often. You will have a lot more sex if you are practical about the amount of time you have for sex in real life.

This brings me to the second challenge men have with sex--men need sex and have a constant desire for it. Women have a difficult time understanding and accepting this about men. Ladies, I know what you are thinking. It took me awhile to understand and accept this fact about men and sex. Their need for sex is much different than a woman’s.

Sex is very important to a man. It is deeper than just the physical act and the pleasure he gets from it, much deeper. Because it is such a powerful experience, a man wants sex to last as long as possible (that is why they have this fantasy of sex lasting ‘all night long’). And they desire to have it as often as possible. Why do you think Viagra is used by men who don’t really need it?

Soon after a sexual encounter is over, a man begins to think about when he will have sex again.

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Ladies you have to accept this about a man. It is not because he is some kind of pervert. It is a part of his male nature. It comes with the testosterone. If you think about it, you will appreciate the level of self control a majority of men exercise every day. They do this because they are good men.

Most men will deny this constant hunger and desire for sex if asked by their wife or girlfriend. They deny it because they don’t want the woman in their life to think they are some kind of pervert. But they feel its presence and manage it daily. Most men control it because they are good men and because they have love for a special woman. Ladies, please remember this fact about sex and your man. It is something that should be admired and appreciated.

Another thing men can learn from this survey is not only do they need to perform for around 7 minutes to please a woman; women, in most cases, don’t want them to perform for much longer than that. There are some very practical reasons for this which I will explain.

First, long sessions of sexual intercourse makes a woman sore ‘down there’ and less willing to ‘do it’ again soon. In other words guys, if you ‘bang her for hours’ it is going to be days or even weeks before she will be willing to ‘do it’ again. Better to 'do her' just right and often than over 'do her' and have to wait for her to recover.

Second, a woman’s awareness is diffuse—meaning a woman’s nature is such that her mind is constantly aware of multiple tasks or things that need her time and attention.
This is something men don’t understand. You see men have the ability to focus their attention to one task and put all their energy into accomplishing it. They don’t have to block out multiple demands for their attention, like women do. Men naturally focus on individual tasks. Women don’t have that luxury. We have this constant awareness of multiple things that need our attention. It takes effort for a woman to zero in on just one thing, such as having an orgasm. Ever notice how focused a woman looks when she builds up to her climax?

Men sometimes ask, “Why don’t women concentrate on sex?” The answer is: “we don’t concentrate.”

Shorter sex sessions allow a woman to enjoy sex more and allow her to have sex more often. I’m not talking about “wham, bam, thank you mam” one sided sex. A ‘most desirable’ sex session is one which includes enough foreplay to get a woman aroused, enough stimulation to bring her to at least one orgasm, enough intercourse to let her enjoy her femaleness and the feel of her man inside her, enough cuddling to make her feel loved and cherished, and finally, doesn’t go on so long as to make her sore or let her diffuse awareness interlope her enjoyment of the moment.

For a me the most desirable length for sex is one that last long enough for me to be sexually satisfied (which usually means 1 or 2 orgasms), let’s me feel the thrill of being a woman by satisfying my hubby’s sexual needs and feeling him inside me, allows some time for cuddling and does not make me sore. Nor does it take so long that it cuts into my sleep time (when we ‘do it’ at night) or interferes with my daily routine (when we ‘do it’ in the morning or afternoon).

After reading about this study, I began paying attention to my own ‘length for sex’ preference. I found my ‘most desirable’ length for sex fell in the 10-13 minute range for intercourse (sometimes a little longer if I want a third orgasm) with our total time including foreplay and cuddling to be between 20 and 30 minutes.

I am on the upper end of the ‘most desirable’ length time for intercourse as described by the study, probably because I have taught my body how to orgasm during intercourse and usually climax twice. Because my vaginal muscles are toned and responsive I don’t require a lot of thrusting from my hubby. I also pleasure him (and myself) using Kabbazah. This reduces the amount of thrusting too, so I rarely get sore even though we have sex 3 or 4 times a week on average.

This doesn't include my almost daily self-cultivation routine using my ezCOME pelvic exerciser. How do you think I became so orgasmic and sexually responsive?

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Captivate Him with the Power of Your Pleasure

A couple’s relationship can benefit tremendously by increasing the frequency of sex they share and focusing on the quality rather than the length. A man will get the sexual release he needs and the bonding he craves. A woman gets both physical pleasure and emotional connection and she gets that very important, but hard to describe, sense of female fulfillment that comes from being a sexually available and responsive mate. It’s one of the joys of being a woman.