F*** Like a Porn StarHistorically in many Eastern cultures the art of giving and receiving sexual pleasure was taught to young women as a normal part of their training to be good wives and companions to their husbands and to prepare them to experience the full joys of womanhood. An active and satisfying sex life was considered a normal part of a healthy male/female relationship in marriage. In most cultures sexual fidelity is expected in marriage along with frequent pleasurable sexual activity.
Western cultures somehow got the notion that all sex was bad and dirty, even extending that belief into the marriage bed and in some religious circles sex is considered a necessary evil for the propagation of the human family. A careful reading of the Biblical text clearly reveals that men and women are meant to be joined together both spiritually and physically and that men are to covet their own wife (as opposed to the their neighbor’s wife) and to lust after her (while lusting after a woman other than her is a form of adultery) and God has ordained the natural state of a woman is to be with a man and a man with a woman in marriage and to have joy in each other.
A lack of training in the sexual arts and a sense of taboo has created a void and allowed the pornography industry to step in to fill the need for erotic knowledge. Unfortunately this includes glamorizing promiscuousness, objectifying women, unrealistically portraying sex, and glorifying unnatural practices.
That being said, for good or ill, one has to recognize that pornography has influenced our sexual expectation and practices. So why not learn what we can from it and use it to our advantage? You don’t have to be a porn star to uh… frolic like one.
Sex skills every woman should have and use frequently to keep the home fires burning bright:
1. Passionate Kissing - Know How to Kiss and Be Kissed. Spend some time re-learning this important act of intimacy if you’ve gotten out of practice. Re-visit the joys kissing above the breasts--of making out: French kissing, ear nibbling, and neck biting. Make a pact with your partner to spend at least 20 minutes making out before venturing into heavy petting and foreplay. This will give you time to re-learn or remember how you liked to be kissed and teach your partner and for you to re-learn or remember how to kiss him. Add some through the clothes and under the clothes groping and fondling before moving on.
2. Oral Sex Skills (stimulation of the penis using the mouth and tongue) – oral sex is often thought of as a replacement for intercourse. It can be but it has other important uses. Oral sex can be used on a man for many purposes other than bringing a man to orgasm.
First, when a couple is new to each other, the first sexual encounters can be filled with high levels of excitement and anxiousness. This can result in the male ejaculating prematurely or cause him to lose his erection. The careful use of oral sex during foreplay and before intercourse can reduce some of his sexual tension and urgency to ejaculate. Then when intercourse begins he will be less likely to climax immediately upon entering her.
Second, high levels of anxiousness can cause a man to lose his erection. When this happens the female can use her oral skills to revive and restore his erection. Doing this over and over again, building him up and then letting him go soft again during sex play not only extends your lovemaking it often results in a long and very satisfying climax for him when he finally does come, whether from oral stimulation or during intercourse.
Anxiousness is not the only cause of erection challenges. As men get older sometimes their penis may need a little coaxing. I don’t mean erectile dysfunction caused from underlying health issues, just the need for a little coaxing. Being able to re-assure a man that his flaccid penis is nothing to be concerned with and using your Oral Sex skills to help him out will win his appreciation and affection.
Another advantage of a woman using oral sex on her man is the activity of pleasuring him with her mouth is often highly arousing to her and can help increase her level of excitement and physical arousal. Some women enjoy stimulating themselves or having the man finger them while they perform oral sex on him, further building their pleasure and enjoyment and even enjoying several orgasms in the process.
When giving oral sex, make sure your mouth is nice and wet. For added sensations and to increase the wetness of your mouth use a mint, menthol lozenge or a lollypop. Use sugar free varieties to avoid stickiness.
Learning how to orally pleasure your man has advantages for both of you.
3. Hand Job Skills (stimulation of the penis using the hands) – Hand job skills go hand in hand (penis in hand?) with oral sex skills. If a woman is not quite comfortable with having her man’s penis in her mouth she can use her hands quite effectively for many of the same purposes as previously mentioned in Oral Sex Skills.
While you can stroke a man’s penis without lubrication by tugging at the base and sliding the skin up and down the shaft, it is best when done with plenty of lubrication. This allows you to stroke the entire length of his penis and glide your lubricated hand over the tip. When combining a hand job with oral sex, saliva can be used or use a flavored sex lube. If just using your hand be sure and use plenty of lubricant.
Using your hands allows you to stroke the entire length of his penis and to fondle his testicles and stroke his perineum. Invite him to finger you and match the rhythm you use on him. Having him rub your clitoris while you stroke him is a good way to show him how you like to be stimulated. But don’t get too carried away or he will be shooting his load before you are ready.
Once you’ve shown him how to rub you just right, let him do you good while you gently fondle him. Then, when you are just about to come, stroke him so you can enjoy the feel of his climax in your hands as you orgasm. Hand jobs can work both ways.
When giving oral sex or a hand job, try having your man sit in a chair while you sit or kneel on either side of him. This gives you easy access to pleasure him with your mouth or hands and allows him to reach down and pleasure you at the same time. If you have an armchair you can use the padded arm to support your weight.
Pay attention to his movements and breathing so you can learn when you need to slow down, reduce stimulation or stop pleasuring him altogether. Knowing this will let you build him up and bring him down over and over again until you are ready to make him explode. When men are stimulated almost to the point of no return (ejaculation) and then allowed to recover over and over again their orgasm lasts longer and is more intense.
Try it yourself. Build your man up to almost the point of no return using your mouth and or your hands then let him relax or even get a little soft and repeat. Do this 5 to 10 times, before taking him all the way and you’ll see what I mean.
If you do decide to take him all the way using your mouth or your hands, know what you want to do with his “cum”. A big deal is often made about swallowing. Do what YOU feel most comfortable with. Personally I like the feel of his hot eruption on my breasts or belly. Some women like to feel it on their neck and face.
4. Don’t Be Boring in Bed, Change Your Position. You should be familiar with these sexual positions and participate in their use:
a. The Missionary Position and all its variations
b. Woman on Top
c. Cowgirl Position
d. Rear Entry Positions
e. Doggy Position (one of my favorite)
5. Don’t Be Boring in Bed, Change Your Location. I don’t mean go to some exotic far away location; I mean get out of bed and do it somewhere else. Give sex a try in these locations around your home. Try out different positions while there:
a. On the Couch
b. In a Chair
c. On the Counter
d. On the Washing Machine
e. On the Washing Machine while it’s running, use the spin cycle again and again.
f. On the hood of a car in the garage (don’t do this with the garage door open or if you have a carport)
g. In your car, in your garage (privacy and no concerns about violating public nudity laws), find the most comfortable seat and way to do it.
h. In the shower
i. In the tub
j. In front of a full length mirror
k. On the stairs
6. Change It Up a Little and End Routine Sex. Small changes can have a big impact. Try these little changes:
a. Get several candles and do it in candle light.
b. Get some red or purple party bulbs for your bedroom and use them the next time you have sex. Better yet get a couple of small bedside lamps, put the colored bulbs in them and make them a permanent part of your decor.
c. Get a vibrator and ask your man to use it on you and help him use it to bring you to orgasm
d. Use the vibrator on him and bring him to orgasm
e. Let your man watch you pleasure yourself to orgasm using your favorite method.
f. If you are uncomfortable doing it in front of him with him in the room, invite him to “hide” in the closet and watch you orgasm or make a video of you climaxing and share it with him. Make sure the lighting is good (men are visual) and don’t hold back. If you normally make some noise then make some noise, be genuine and don’t fake it, let him watch you enjoy yourself. You can use it as a way to show him what you like.
g. Interrupt intercourse and give him some oral sex, then go back to intercourse. Do this several times.
h. Put on your drabbest chore clothes but wear lingerie underneath that makes YOU feel sexy. Then get your man alone and show him what you are wearing and invite him for some action.
i. Surprise him with some wakeup oral sex or a hand job a couple times a week.
j. The next time he approaches you for sex and you really don’t feel like it and don’t think you can get in the mood, simply smile, say “Come here big boy.” and give him a hand job.
k. Shave it bare down there. If you normally leave hair on your vulva, remove it. Get a Brazilian wax if you can, but just shaving your lips smooth and leaving a nicely trimmed triangle can be an exciting change you both will enjoy.
l. Color it. Change the color of your pubic hair. If you have blond or red pubic hair, use waterproof mascara to darken it. The contrast and change can make you feel quite sexy.
m. Change the time you do it. If your routine is to have sex only at night, go to bed early and set your alarm clock an hour or two earlier and have morning sex. Or plan a day or two during the month to do it in the afternoon.
7. Be Sexually Adventurous - If you think you are too old, too fat, too married, too ______, to do something like wear crotchless panties or a shelf bra or use a vibrator; do it any way just for fun. It won’t make you older, fatter, more or less married, or more ______. And it just may make you feel younger, get motivated to take care of your body better, make you laugh or give you a smile.
In a recent study one of the reasons most often cited by men as to why they stopped having sex with their wives was that “she wasn’t sexually adventurous”.
Think about how excited you get when you get a new outfit or and new pair of shoes. Doing a little something different can add increased excitement to your passion too.
8. Learn how to control and flex your vaginal muscles. This requires a little more effort, but you will both be glad you made the effort for years to come (literally). Here are some of the benefits of training your vaginal muscles:
a. A tight vagina
b. Reduce or eliminate incontinence concerns
c. Multiple orgasms
d. Reduce or eliminate female prolapse problems (bladder, uterine, etc.)
e. Experience whole body orgasms
f. Develop the ability enjoy gushing G-spot orgasms (female ejaculation)
g. Learn how to perform the Velvet Grip Technique (surprise your partner and blow his mind with this)
You don’t have to look like a porn star to uh… frolic like one. I think most men would agree. They would rather have an enthusiastic real woman in their bed, someone they can touch, feel and share real pleasure with, than watch some over-acting faking it starlet on a screen.
If not then they have a serious problem and need to seek therapy.
Come again soon and often… and together...
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