Ladies Get the Hot Hand Job You Crave and Enjoy Hours of Bliss

When you hear the term “hand job” you usually think of it in terms of a man’s penis. However, women enjoy a good hand job too.

The term “fingering” or “finger f@#$ing” a woman is often used but I don’t think it properly conveys the right idea of what it means to pleasure a woman by gently and carefully stroking her vulva and clitoris with the fingers and hands.

“Fingering” and “finger f@#$ing” sounds too rough and implies the need to insert a finger into the vagina. A more accurate description would be a “vulva massage”. But that sounds too clinical. It would be like calling a hand job on a man a “penis massage”. While accurate, it just doesn’t sound very sexy.

I suppose you could correctly call it a “yoni massage”, but again that doesn’t sound sexy enough and too new age. I like the raw sexiness of the term “hand job” whether referring to pleasuring man or a woman with the hand and fingers. It sounds gritty and sexy without being too vulgar, clinical or mystical.

The term “hand job” clearly conveys the idea of using the hands for giving pleasure. And just as there are many techniques for giving a man a hand job, the same is true when giving a woman a hand job.

The one thing male and female hand jobs have in common is the need for plenty of lubrication. The best way to ensure this is to use some Astroglide® or something similar. Petroleum jelly makes a very good lubricant for a great hand job on a woman (or a man for that matter). Just be aware that it will dissolve things made out of latex such as condoms.

Never ever try to stroke the clitoris with out plenty of lubrication. Plenty of lube not only increases pleasure, it will decrease the likelihood of irritating the sensitive clitoral tissue.

Here are some easy and satisfying techniques to use…



Circling the Clitoris – use the tips or pads of the fingers to make big circles around the clitoris. Avoid direct contact with the clitoris at first. Gradually make the circles smaller and smaller until just the tip of the clitoris is being circled. Lots of lube and a light touch are important when directly stimulating the clitoris.

Drumming and Stroking the Labia – Lightly tapping along the length of the labia gives good vibrations. Change to lightly stroking the length of the labia then go back to tapping.

Stiring It Up – Insert 2 fingers (usually the middle and index fingers) and gently stir. The idea is to gently wake up the entire vaginal wall, including the g-spot and a-spot. Deeper and more vigorous stimulation of these can be added later as arousal levels increase and the desire for more vigorous stimulation .

Wag the Tip – Move one or two fingers rapidly from side to side across the tip of the clitoris. If this is too intense move the surrounding tissue and clitoral hood instead.

Experiment to find the combination of moves that work best and if in doubt ask. And remember speed is often not as important as consistency for most women.


For more details and instructions for getting and giving “good hand” check out: The Zen of Giving a Woman a Hot Hand Job – How to Finger a Woman and Have Her Coming Back for More.

Is My Vagina Normal? How Does Mine Compare to Other Women?

Believe it or not most women wonder about this at one time or another. Some of us have even compared ourselves to the pretty ones we’ve seen in men’s magazines. And if ours is different, we've wondered if we are normal. So if you have ever felt this way you are not alone.

The fact is, when it comes to the shape and size of a woman’s vagina there is no “normal” as it is normal for the shape, size and even the color to differ from one woman to the next.

More about Female Anatomy video

Also, to be accurate, what most of us call our vagina is actually our vulva. The vulva makes up the inner lips the outer lips and includes the clitoris. In other words is all the parts that feel good when touched and what we think of as our “p#$$y”. Technically the vagina is the inner canal that serves as a receptacle for a penis during sex and birth canal during delivery.

To see just how different “normal” vaginas (vulvas actually) look and to reassure yourself that yours is normal; take a look at these “normal” female genitals. (The links takes you to a sex ed site---not porn.)

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How to Make a Woman Horny – Seducing Your Wife for Great Sex

"How do you make a woman horny?"

My husband used to ask me this, out a desire to figure out what he could do to get me all hot and bothered and in the mood for some hot and heavy passionate sex.

The problem is there is not a simple answer. Women are complicated. Or as my husband puts it “Women are tricky.” What worked the last time won’t necessarily work the next time. There is no simple answer, but there is a way to consistently get a woman horny.

Click Here To Make Her Horny

To tell you the truth, I don’t even know why there are times when I get so turned by my husband I am aching to tear his clothes off and jump his bones.

I must admit since I started taking responsibility for my own sexuality and developing my sexual responsiveness by changing my diet and exercising my vagina muscles and using my sexuality to express my femininity (with my husband if you know what I mean), it is a whole lot easier to get turned on and get things moving quickly. And the finish (orgasm) is sooooo much easier and better now thanks to my discovery and use of the ezCOME and the ezOrgasm Diet.

Ladies Learn How to Be at Your Very Best

The pelvic exercise, diet and mental attitude changes don’t completely explain why I sometimes get really turned on by my husband though. Unlike men, arousal for a woman is only partly physical. Granted a woman’s sexual engine must be running smoothly for her to get turned on, but the emotional and psychological triggers are hard to explain.

It’s kind of like asking a guy why he gets turned on by an attractive woman. Him saying he is attracted to a woman because she is “hot” or “sexy” doesn’t say what it is about her that makes her “sexy”. He could say it is her curves or her breasts or her butt. But if you ask him why that makes her attractive he will most likely say something like “it just does” and not be able to really explain why.

A guy just knows he is attracted to a woman’s charms. A “woman’s charms” are pretty well understood by men---and women for that matter. But a “man’s charms” or in other words what it is about a man that turns a woman on is harder to define. Even for us women. We can say this or that turns us on but in reality it is often something totally different from what we think. Many times women are not even consciously aware of what turns us on sexually. We know when we are turned on and not necessarily how we got that way.

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Read how Robert learned the 'Secrets to Getting Her in the Mood' so he could get the sex he needs from his lady.

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No wonder men say they don’t know what women want, because we often don’t know ourselves. We don’t know what we want but we do respond when we get it!

I can tell you one thing for sure. Knowing the latest and greatest sex techniques doesn’t get a woman turned on. Knowing how to pleasure a woman is great once she is turned on, but that knowledge alone won’t get her turned on in the first place and ready to jump a man’s bones.

Another common mistake is thinking that making a woman feel loved and cherished will also make her horny. I know this must be confusing because a lot of relationship gurus talk about how important the “relationship” is to a woman. This is true and having a good relationship is important to a woman and makes her open to the idea of having sex, but feeling loved and cherished does not get a woman sexually aroused and craving to be with her man sexually.

So if being a good man, making a woman feel loved, and doing romantic things aren’t the key to getting a woman horny and crazy for sex, then what will? The answer is: Seduction!

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Seduction is the art of turning a woman on and getting her horny without her realizing it. This is a skill most men in a relationship (as in married) don’t have or use. You may think that seducing women is only for single guys wanting to make a quick score, but you are so wrong.

If you want your lady to be horny for you then you need to learn how to seduce her.

Just as it is important for a woman to be seductive and alluring to her partner, it is her responsibility to be sexually attractive to him and sexy. The same goes for a man, he has a responsibility to learn how to seduce his woman and make her sex crazy for him.

Imagine the hot sex that goes on in a partnership where the woman works at being alluring, attractive and sexy to her man and he in turn learns how to seduce her and push her mental and emotional arousal buttons. Wow, let me tell you the sex is hot, passionate, intense and frequent.

Although I can’t tell you exactly what my hubby does to seduce me and make me horny I can tell you it works and I can tell you he uses seduction techniques.

Read "My Healthy Happy Sex Life" blog for a man's point of view on using seduction in his marriage to make his wife eager for sex or: Click Here to go to the Seduction Power for Guys in a Relationship website.

Ladies Get Yourself Ready for Valentine’s Day and a Night He Won't Forget

Valentines Days is just a week away. Are your ready to have him rock your world?
Let’s face the truth of the matter. You are looking for tokens of love and affection while the man in your life is looking forward to a night of great sex.

One of the hardest things for a woman to accept about the man she is having a relationship with is the importance of sex to him. Most decent men will deny it, for fear of appearing to be shallow, but sex is very important to a man. To him your willingness and eager participation in sex with him lets him know you love him and makes him feel loved by you. Even if he is not aware of it or denies it, it is still true. Yes is sounds kind of shallow, but to a man’s emotional well being it is not.

I understand your doubts about this idea, but I can tell once I accepted and embraced the idea of having frequent sex with my man, without conditions and made myself available to him and made efforts to be a full participant, I was surprised by the profound effect it had on my relationship outside the bedroom. The multiple benefits (as in orgasms) in the bedroom were just icing on the cake.

Be Ready for Great Sex with ezCOME

Just like using candles, soft music and lingerie to set the stage for a romantic evening a woman can get her brain and body prepared for some great sexual enjoyment.

During this week leading up to Valentines Day follow these simple guidelines to get your body ready to be thrilled to the max.

1. Don’t eat any junk food or sugary foods this week.
2. Avoid caffeine (coffee, tea, soda) this week.
3. Don’t eat any bread, pasta, rice or potatoes this week. This includes crackers and chips.
4. Drink lots of water each day.
5. Get a bottle of concentrated fish oil capsules, read the label and see how many capsules you’ll need to take each day to get at least 1600mg of EPA. Depending on the concentration this will vary between 4 to 10 capsules each day. You can spread taking them through out the day. Put the capsules in the freezer to minimize the “fish burps”. You’ve got to take these each day leading up to the big day.
6. Get some dark chocolate (Dove Dark is excellent) and take just 4 squares each day in the afternoon or evening.
7. Eat lots of proteins, especially from fish, preferably salmon, eggs, chicken, beef and pork.
8. Eat lots of vegetables and salads, go easy on the fruit. Fresh and frozen are better than canned. Use salad dressing sparingly, and try to use olive oil and vinegar. Include avaocodos and walnuts in your salad.
9. On Valentine's Day double your concentrated fish oil capsule dose and your dark chocolate dose. Take your fish oil through out the day and take your dark chocolate once in the afternoon and then the second dose of dark chocolate and hour or two before you have him rock your world. If you go out to dinner, enjoy some fish or steak and salad and skip the potato. If you choose to have desert, share something made from dark chocolate.

After a few days of taking the concentrated fish oil capsules and changing your eating habits, you may find yourself feeling very horny, especially in the mornings. And don’t be surprised if on the night before Valentine's Day you have an erotic dream.

Now you are ready for a Valentine’s Day and a night that you both will remember. Make the diet changes permanent if you want to enjoy great sex all the time.

To maximize your sexual responsiveness and your enjoyment (and his) use the ezCOME orgasm muscle trainer.
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Tricks Women Can Use to Make Having an Orgasm Easier

No it’s not that kind of trick.

Dr. Louanne C. Weston, a board certified sex therapist, explains that around 10 percent of women have never had an orgasm, either alone or with a partner. Some of these unfortunate ladies are smart enough to recognize the problem and seek a solution. The good news, according to Dr. Weston, is it is possible for a woman to learn to be orgasmic.

The most important thing a woman needs to know to make achieving an orgasm easier is to learn how to properly balance the amount of tension and relaxation during sex. You may be wondering how you can be both tense and relaxed at the same time.

The key thing to understand here is the difference between muscle tension and stress tension. Stress tension is the tightness in your neck, shoulders and sometimes your back caused by mental worries and life’s stresses. It is a good idea to relax and release the stress tension built up in your neck and shoulders with massage and relaxation exercises before sex. But trying to remain totally relaxed during sex will make having an orgasm difficult.

A woman needs a fair amount muscle tension to reach orgasm, especially when she is first learning how. Most women first learn to orgasm while tightening their leg, stomach and butt muscles. Once a woman learns to climax this way she will continue to need use these muscles to provide the tension she needs for orgasm until she learns a better and easier way.

The best orgasm inducing muscles for women to tense up are the muscles in her lower pelvic region. These are the same muscle used to stop the flow of urine. Developing conscience control of contracting or tensing these pelvic floor muscles makes getting the right amount of orgasm inducing muscle tension easy.

When the pelvic flour muscles are tensed or flexed the blood flow to the genitals increases. This not only increases a woman’s arousal, her increased awareness and control of these muscles heightens her sensitivity to sexual stimulation.

When a woman has correctly developed her pelvic floor muscles through regular pelvic exercise, using a pelvic exerciser such as the ezCOME (easy Clinical Orgasm Muscle Exerciser) not only can she consciously build the muscle tension and arousal needed to make her orgasm happen, she also enjoys greater unconscious pelvic muscle tension and contractions during sexual stimulation. Women with well developed pelvic floor muscle often enjoy many spontaneous orgasms during sex. This is a fact I can personally verify.

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Here is where the right kind of relaxation is important. A woman needs to learn to relax her mind during sex. She needs to block out the mental distractions, like the ones that give her the neck and shoulder stress tension mentioned earlier, so she can focus on the sensations of sexual pleasure.
The best way to get rid of orgasm blocking stress is to replace it with sex positive images and words. For example as she is being stimulated (either by herself or a partner) she can picture in her mind a passionate or erotic scene from her favorite romance novel or movie with her and her lover in the leading roles.

She can first picture in her mind the scene as if she is watching from a distance and then mentally change her perspective and imagine she is experiencing it in person.

Or she can repeat the words “This feels really good” and “ I can take as long as I need” in her mind as she is stimulated.

These techniques keep the mind occupied with thoughts that encourage sexual arousal and enjoyment and keep out negative thoughts. Think of it as daydreaming about sex during sex so you can enjoy sex.

Once the distracting thoughts have been replaced with sex positive thoughts, pelvic floor muscle contractions are added. With practice most women can learn to tense their pelvic floor muscles and build sexual orgasmic tension while letting their minds go silent. They are then free to be in the moment with their partner as they build up to one or several orgasms.

The physical and mental exercises described help many women having difficulty with orgasm. A medical condition or medications can also interfere with a woman’s orgasm ability. Ask your doctor for more information about these.

The sex therapist designed ezCOME strengthens pelvic muscles and increases orgasms.
It comes with a diet program designed to increase a woman’s libido and orgasms.

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